The B-Side

By AuntiePanPan

For most of you drunkrockers that did not know this about me….I have been a caregiver to my mother, Mikki, the last four years or so.

My mother died due to complications in the hospital on Father’s Day last week.

I know some people think I have fallen off of the planet, I would say that I have good reason. My father also died on fathers day about four years ago.

I hate the month of JUNE.

Now I know why…after watching this whole week everyone dropping like flies…I think it has something to do with the sun. I personally view this time as “The Changing of the Guard”…the time has come for the old to pass the baton to the new and move on. I feel this way. You don’t have to.

I will be moving to the Orange County area against the wishes of many people who would rather me fester and rot in glorious Rancho Cucamonga. There is nothing there for me. I love the O.C.

Even though at a club I won’t mention, someone actually had the audacity to say that I was a ‘nobody’ and ‘if they didn’t know who I was? I am a no one so my mothers death must not be that important’……

…hmmmmm…..

Do you club people ACTUALLY KNOW what a catty cunt I can be?

My mother was my pressure valve. My rock. My anchor that made sure I didn’t cross the line.

Woe be it unto you if you cross it now.

But enough of that shit…The reason I actually got on line….I wanted to thank someone personally about who has been there for me….they know who they are.

Auntie PanPan’s horoscopes as well as more articles will come around when I am out of mourning.

I love all the people who have supported me during this. Again…thank you.

Hot ass you say?
How lucky am I to be given an assignment to look for the hottest ass of 2008.
Very lucky indeed! Spending endless hours on the internets searching for hot guys to look at, very tiring, and yet nothing that I wouldn’t normally do on any other night of the year; yes, lucky me, because this decision lies solely on me, so no one has to actually agree with me, na na na na na na!

Number 10: Gavin Rossdale

Ok, ever since that one video where he is crawling on floor exposing his back… I have had a back fetish… Mr. Rossdale thank you for a new sexual fetish

Number 9 : Jackson Rathbone

Personally, I had never heard of him before… and then I endured Twilight. He is just the cutest thing ever.

Number 8 : Gerard Butler

I have ‘loved’ him since Timeline, and then he totally had my mouth drop in 300, wow, what a body. **fans self off**

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For those of you who know me, AuntiePanPan…

You know that this Wed. October 15th will mark my 38th year on this festive planet of funk and weirdness…

I will drinking myself into a blissful energy of fluff on this night. Please come visit. Read the rest of this entry �

Posted by:  Doctor Poo

No.  Seriously.  I may not have a dick, but I sure do feel sorry for this poor fella and his little feller.

Continue reading if you dare!

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Who says that goths are lazy and apathetic?
NOT TRUE after hours last night outside Orange County’s hot club Xile.
Just as everyone was exchanging hugs and phone numbers, after a long night dancing and merriment, a small corseted voice could be heard in the distance saying “I think there’s a fire!” I didn’t get the name of the girl, but she jumped into the backseat of my trusty gothmobile behind my friend, Sterling D. Knight ( of online occult/weapons store ‘The Dark Tower’ fame) while I was chasing down the lead DJ of Xile, who was running at full gallop to see where the commotion was coming from. Read the rest of this entry �

Aloha!

AuntiePanPan here to tell you of my weekend…which usually runs from Friday morning until Monday night…welcome to my life of reckless abandonment as a professional Media Ho.

Friday was unique…all I remember was tequila and a donkey…does anybody know anything about that?

Eternal/no was a fantabulous Saturday night with Blade (Beware the spinning head) Rhino flinging cakes to the masses in honoria of his birthday. Congratulations Sweetie! Pictures will be abounding soon to a website near you…heavens permitting…lets see…Very wunderva to run into the old school squad from Vampiricus times…ahhh sweet memories…I go underground for 8 years and wow!!!! There’s a sushi bar on every corner and a popular coffee joint every five feet! HEAVEN!!!!!!!!!! Read the rest of this entry �

By (A Haiku is you)…Taylor

I.

Hello, little boy

Stepping into the dryer

Where is your mother?

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So this is such a no-brainer
Why havent Motorola and Paramount teamed up and given us a TRUE Star Trek communicator

the Star Trek TOS communicator

the Motorola V3 RAZR

the RAZR would be a good fit for the TOS communicator

REVIEW
By (Crackalackin’)…Taylor

Need a boost of energy? But would rather drink warm piss than let those fickle lips touch the smooth essence of liquid Arabica. Then try this: Snickers Charged… I’m not normally one to go around writing prose about candy bars; but this shit is “Cracktastical”! Read the rest of this entry �

Battlestar Galactica Frakkin’ Cylon Toaster
A toaster that brands your toast with everyone’s least favorite toaster: A Cylon!
$75
Production Run: 1,000