AuntiePanPan’s Horroscopes…
November 8th, 2009
by ME truly, AuntiePanPan
good evening my glittering gothlings.
This is your auntie speaking.
Soo soorrrry been out of the loop lately, dealing with aliens…ya know.
Leo
sigh.
sigh.
hmmmm…I see lap dances in your future…carry a ton of one dollar bills.
Virgo
what can I say? You are popular! Everyone wants you to come over and may have secret desires to keep you locked up in their wine cellar…they don’t know what a big drinker you are, do they?
Libra
well…you worry too much…and relax..you will eventually get laid…and you will be earning cash soon…no…not at the same time…sheeesh.
Scorpio
you are …. have always been ….shall always be…a pervert.
but really? rubber sheets and corn? yuk. stick to glitter.
Sagittarius
Finish what you start and all will be well. Procrastinate? Stagnation. it’s just that simple.
Capricorn
things are looking bright and shiny in your future….let me go get those five hookers and a laptop for you now…
Aquarius
perspective is our friend…keep your perspective and all will be fine. Rely on those that you trust. Trust those that help you…I could go off…but why?
Pisces
Where the hell are you gonna find five hookers? And whats this I hear about what coming out of your hoo haa?!?!??!?!?!?!?? I want details???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aries
If they beat you and you DON’T enjoy it? That is called abuse, honey. Call the po po.
Taurus
Just go back to sleep, I will let you know if anything interesting is going on.
Gemini
Yes. It all sucks right now…but it will get better. You are finally seeing the world without rose colored glasses and realize that you should get rich, now.
Cancer
Where did you put your frikking car keys at???? I will tell you …. they are next to the basket in the front room…no…they are IN the basket in the front room..you know the one I am talking about…all CANCERIANS have a basket at the front room…that’s where they usually put the cell phone and the remote or the ipod at too…you all live at frikking IKEA anyway…go to ikea and buy more photo boxes, ya sentimental FREAKS!
enjoy this week my lovies!
